Raised the "Right" Way? On Children Growing Up in Extreme-Right Families

Right-wing extremism is increasingly understood through a family lens. Where these movements were previously mainly perceived as male-dominated and masculinist, social media has given rise to a new face of right-wing extremism, in which parenthood, specifically motherhood, plays a pivotal role. Extremist “mommy influencers”, who promote their ideas through a lens of softness and femininity (with persuasive corresponding aesthetics), are gaining traction. On their online platforms, these (young, white, conventionally attractive) mothers stress the importance of maintaining traditional family values, and women’s responsibility for the propagation of the extremist group ideology. However, the children growing up in these families remain under-studied. Will they inherit their parents' hateful attitudes?

The Bobo Doll experiment

Intuitively we might answer this question with a ‘yes’. It has been well-established that parental political attitudes are one of the most important predictors of children’s political preferences later in life. Similarly, religious beliefs and practices are often passed on intergenerationally, as religious socialization at a young age is associated with engagement in religious practices at a later age. These observations mirror the findings of the famous Bobo Doll Experiment, by American-Canadian psychologist Albert Bandura. This experiment, which took place in the 1960s, sheds light on how children learn and mimic behaviors by observing others – particularly adults and parental figures. Children who observed an adult acting aggressively towards a blow-up “Bobo” doll, would later imitate the aggressive actions and language they had witnessed towards the doll. Likewise, children who were exposed to a non-aggressive parent, would refrain from exhibiting aggressive behavior upon confrontation with the doll. Bandura’s study contributed to the development of social learning theory, which emphasizes the influence of observation and modelling on behavior, and highlights the need to consider the impact of (parental) role models on children's behavior and development.

The intergenerational transmission of extremism

When it comes to the intergenerational transmission of extremist attitudes, studies similarly suggest that parents can indeed pass on their violent worldviews to their children. In my own research, based on interviews with (former) extremists, practitioners and experts, I describe the various ways in which extremist transmission can take place. For example, my findings illustrate the importance of social isolation in extremist families, which largely resembles the ways in which children in cults and sectarian movements are raised. Parents with extremist values may strictly limit the social relations of their children – controlling their friendships, hobbies and romantic relationships. In some cases, extremist parents opt for homeschooling so as to fully control the material that their children are taught. Homeschooling practices in general have seen an uptick since the Covid pandemic and its associated lockdown measures, and it is likely that this is also the case for extremist parents. Moreover, since far-right politicians (in the US and beyond) are increasingly warning against “woke indoctrination” in high schools, this phenomenon may continue to grow even further.

Obstacles to transmission

Yet, this does not mean that all children of extreme-right parents will necessarily grow up to adopt these beliefs themselves. Interestingly, in talking to (former) white supremacists around the globe, I found that most of these parents were not at all interested in passing their ideas on to their children. From research on people involved in gangs and violent crime, we already know that becoming a parent can be a life-changing experience, which can motivate some to desist from their violent ways. Many of my interviewees similarly indicated that parenthood was a key factor in their deradicalization process. As some of them explained, holding an innocent baby in their arms made them realize that their hatred towards others is, in fact, not an inherent part of human nature. It helped them understand that their attitudes were learned – and therefore, they realized, these attitudes can also be unlearned. One of my interviewees described this realization as a “spiritual awakening”: “It changed everything. I don't know where I'd be right now if I hadn't become a father”, he told me. 

Moreover, becoming a parent gave some of my interviewees a sense of purpose and identity that was previously fulfilled by the movement, which too stimulated their process of deradicalization. Other (former) extreme-right parents described how they did not want their children to grow up in a world of danger and violence – which inspired them to step back from the movement. In the words of one of my interviewees: “I felt that my kids deserve to know how the world works. They have so many opportunities – the last thing they need is this violence and darkness”. In some cases, parenthood did not cause deradicalization or disengagement – instead, parents kept their violent ideas and behaviors separate from their role as a parent. This led them to live “double lives”, where children were kept completely unaware of their parents’ ideologies. Instead of raising their children with extremist world views, parents would instead try to shield them from this part of their identity. As one of my interviewees summarized: “I was a Dad during daytime, and a Nazi by night”.

Breaking away from an extremist upbringing

Furthermore, not only parents, but also children themselves can obstruct the transmission of extremism.  I found that children may prove to be resilient to these ideologies – with many of them breaking away from their parents’ beliefs earlier or later in life. For some, this decision to break away is inspired by a certain life-changing trigger event, such as the imprisonment or death of a parent. For others it was a one-off encounter with someone from the “outside world” that made them change their ways. Connecting with someone who their parents had always said was the “enemy”, helped individuals from extremist milieus to move away from their ideology. For example, one of my interviewees described how he started to question his parents’ ideology when he befriended a man of color while in prison: “At first, I didn’t want to have anything to with him. But once we started talking, we both opened up about our lives, and that really opened my eyes”.

While some of them had to cut all ties with their extremist family members, not all did. More surprisingly, many of these interviewees indicated that they still had a good relationship with their parents, and that they do not blame them for their extremist upbringing. As the son of an extremist father told me: “Do I agree with the choices that [my father] made at the time? No, of course not. But I never resented him for that”. Many others even recall having a happy childhood, despite their parents’ violent world views. This observation goes against media framing of children being “brainwashed” or “indoctrinated” by extremist parents, and calls for a more nuanced understanding of intergenerational transmission processes.

In short, while concerns about children growing up in extremist milieus are legitimate – especially considering the rise of extreme-right “momfluencers” – we need to be careful not to stigmatize and criminalize children from these family backgrounds. Not all parents with extremist world views wish to raise their children as such, nor do these children necessarily grow up to become extremists themselves. A non-exclusionary approach, in which children are not simply regarded as extensions of their parents’ world views, should therefore take preference.